What would an adult industry convention be without plenty of parties? Kind of like going to Hooters for dinner and expecting the waitresses to give you a lap dance, I suppose. In a word: disappointing.

Fortunately, such a fate is not in store for the brave souls who will travel to Las Vegas for January’s Adult Entertainment Expo. Indeed, there’s plenty of action planned to keep convention attendees good and sleep deprived. Lucky thing for me that I’ve got insomnia. I like to pretend that it’s a form of cross training.

Adult Entertainment Expo (http://www.adultentertainmentexpo.com) doesn’t actually start until January 6, but that doesn’t mean the parties have to wait. After all, the city will already be filled with porn hounds who’ve attended Internext (http://www.internext-expo.com), as well as those attending the AVN Awards (http://www.avnawards.com). That’s why ExtremePayChecks.com is throwing its Extreme Fetish Night 2005 party on January 5 from 11:00 pm until 4:00 am at ICE. This is the second time the company has hosted such a party and it seems pretty proud of the fact it’s happening in a nightclub with a loud sound system, several bars, a shitload of dance space, and “6 micro environments,” whatever that means. There’ll be hip hop music in at least one room and pretty porn stars crawling all over the place. Aria Giovanni, Aimee Sweet, Angel Cassidy and the infamous “more” will all be in attendance. Since ICE isn’t located in the Internext hotel (aka Mandalay Bay), there will be complimentary bus rides to and from the venue, as well as free shirts, hats, drink tickets, CDs, and an announcement of who has won the Extreme Giveaway Cruise to Cozumel. Read all about it at http://www.extremefetisnight.com.

The party I’ve been hearing a lot about in my Inbox is Pure Play Media’s 1200 person soiree at the Hard Rock Hotel’s Body English on January 6. Although I’m supposed to get out and about with the city’s BDSM community that night (karaoke, anybody?) I’m going to do my damndest to get to the Hard Rock, too. The hall of heroes are just too big to miss: folks from Ninn Worx, Seymore Butts, Suze Randall Productions, Cousin Stevie Incorporated, Erotic Media, Score Group, Simon Wolf Productions, Danni’s Hard Cut, and Private Media Group will all be rubbing elbows and god knows what else. Top DJs and special guest performers will entertain the jaded collection of beautiful people, a genuine red carpet entrance is planned complete with desperate paparazzi, tons of mainstream media will jockeying for attention, and there will be bags of goodies given away.

The same night, two other parties will be vying for popular approval. Ghost Pro Productions will celebrate its transition from an online entity to a flesh and blood adult media retail business by hosting a kick ass party elsewhere in the Hard Rock Café complete with wet t-shirt contest, go-go girls, and other unmentionables. Party time starts at 10:15pm. People too drunk or tired to walk from their hotels can hop a complimentary vehicle from the Sands Expo Center, Mandalay Bay, and the Venetian Hotel. More information is available at http://www.ghostpro.com.

For those whose blood alcohol level will allow them, there’s more partying on January 7. Frankly, I find it impossible to get drunk in Las Vegas. I’m told it’s the oxygen that they pump into the casinos. Who knows? I think that the alcohol distributors have a pact with the devil that makes people drink ungodly amounts of booze with hardly any affect, but I could be wrong. Anyway, the important thing is that Explicit Entertainment and Hustler’s Jeff Lombardo (whoever he is) have rented the VIP section of Club Rain at the Palms Hotel… which is a pretty cool club as I remember from last year. Among other things, the party will officially launch Explicit’s first video release, Late Night Sessions with Tony Tedeschi, as well as celebrate Lombardo’s 23rd birthday. Guests will include Julie Knight and Venus, who both appear in the new Tedeschi vehicle, and Ron Jeremy, Tyler Durden, Charlie Laine, Sophia, Taylor Rain, Gia Paloma, and Jenna Haze – who do not. If I manage to attend, buy me a drink and ask me for my personal Tony Tedeschi stories.

Bored by Club Rain or just unable to get there? Fear not, there’s more insane partying planned elsewhere on the 7th. Vertigo Video and American Hardcore, Zero Tolerance, Third Degree Films, Smash Pictures, Pornstar.com, and America’s most hated adult industry gossip site LukeFord.com are tossing the Go Hard or Go Home party at Club OPM at Caesar’s Palace. “Dozens of adult film stars and industry VIPs are expected” to attend this party and the open bar from 11:00pm until midnight is probably only a small part of why they’ll be there. DJ Muggs from Cyress Hill and DJ Jam from Snoop Dogg will spin hip-hop tunes – and you can never get enough hip hop if the adult industry is to be believed. I’m not convinced, of course, but then I’m not hosting this party, so who cares? Among the pretty people who fuck for a living that plan on attending you’ll find Monica Sweetheart, Brittney Skye, Alexis Malone, Trinity, Randi Wright, Haley Paige, Eva Angelina, Kira Eggers, Jelena Jensen, Bella Starr, and Cassie Young. As if that’s not enough excitement for one night, LukeFord.com writer Scott Fayner will be there. Be still my heart.  

But wait! There’s more! Good god yes, there’s more. The 2nd Annual Limelight Girls Live party will take over the Curve Ultra Lounge at the Aladdin Hotel and Casino on January 7 – but don’t expect to get in unless you’ve got some dead presidents. General admission tickets are $20 and VIP tickets are $50 from the Aladdin Box office or from 877-333-9474. What will they buy you? Why the opportunity to enjoy a private VIP area with an all-night complimentary vodka bar… and I don’t think that means that the vodka will say flattering things to you. Additionally, you can take photos of the girls, get their autographs, take home free DVD’s, watch a live radio broadcast take place, and participate in promotional giveaways. Past and present Limelight girls who will party alongside you will include Bianca Pureheart and Sofia Sandobar.  

And if you think that’s quite enough partying for one night, you’re going to find an argument with the folks behind Mondo Porno, a “mega-party” being held in the unlikely location of the Coney Island Ballroom at The Boardwalk Casino and Hotel. Ask me about the Boardwalk Casino and Hotel someday… Anyway, Mondo Porno will feature live rock bands (what, no hip hop?), burlesque performers that go by the group name of Sin City Grind Kittens, free gifts, dancing, and the screening of The Complete Deep Throat, Eric Danville’s annotated version of the controversial and classic film. Things get started at 9:00 pm with the film showing at 9:30 pm and the live entertainment kicking in around 11:00 pm. “Righteous tunes” will be spun by DJ Korby in the lounge throughout the evening. There’s a door fee, but it’s not too painful. A mere $10 with a flier or printout. The first 100 folks wearing AEE badges get in free. Tons of info about it can be found at http://www.mondopornoparty.com.

And that’s all there is for the 7th. Theoretically, folks leave the parties, find someplace to sleep or at least take a nap, go back to the expo floor the next day, attend the AVN Awards or stand outside of the ballroom waiting to catch sight of someone famous, and then – party some more!
Yes, the city of sin needs a party every night and Jill Kelly Productions is happy to help keep the tradition alive and moaning. Once the AVN Awards let out, there will be much merriment, including a shindig at the OPM Nightclub in Caesar’s Palace. All the Jill Kelly Productions’ girls will be there, including new contract girls Nikki Benz and Tyra Banxx. I’ll drop to stop by, but I have a tendency to get into long conversations in the Venetian casino, so we’ll see how that works out.
 
For those wanting something different from a Jill Kelly Productions memory, there’s a swingers party being held starting at 10:00 pm and hosted by Summer Haze and the ever (and understandably) optimistic Ron Jeremy. The Hedgehog will crack jokes and Couples Fantasies video hostess Haze will be gracious and lovely. Co-porn pal Craig Valentine, bordello kingpin Dennis Hof, lifestyle swingers, and porn folks who mate outside of their profession will also be on hand, presumably looking for some hot action at Club Seven. Free trips to Hedo Iii Jamaica, glass toys, DVD’s, t-shirts, hats, and other swell swag will be given away – plus, groovy swingers hoping to make their video debut are encouraged to sign up for a chance to do just that. As if that weren’t enough to put voters who live in the red states into anaphylactic shock, there will be food, dancing, and additional entertainment. Of course, there’s a price for all this fun. It’s $75/couple during the Adult Entertainment Expo and $90/couple at the door. There’s an impressive list of “invited guests” who haven’t confirmed, but if you let your imagination run just a little bit wild, you’ll figure out who a lot of them are… and until they’ve confirmed, what’s the point of speculating?

After all of that insanity, everybody will pack up their garter belts and condoms to go home. Me? I’ll have a couple of days to languish in Las Vegas yearning for an escape from the non-stop chatter of slot machines – but at least I’ll be languishing in the generous hospitality of locals and not in some hotel that pumps oxygen into its rooms so you can’t fall asleep or get drunk.